slow down
there’s no sense in rushing
there’s nothing to rush for
other than dying
slow down
there’s no sense in rushing
there’s nothing to rush for
other than dying
They say what’s healthy
but they don’t know.
Eat right, eat less.
Don’t have too much
of one thing
that’s what I go by.
They don’t know
they try to know
I’m not their guinea pig.
Sometimes they know
and they lie
they are the biggest scum
for money
I feel well
because I think well
and I live well, well enough
for someone that’s figuring it out.
And even if I’m wrong
I’m not afraid of death
We go on and on and on…
until we come back to the beginning
and we start over, on and on and on
I don’t know which lap this is
but I learn
to listen
My eye sight is pretty bad
I wear glasses–
even when I wear them
it’s pretty bad.
but after a beer or two
everything becomes sharp
and
a little bit shiny
I get highly suspicious
when everything is fine
Nothing
is fine
Either it’s good or it’s bad
Fine is worse than nothing
I feel like I’m wasting away in this apartment.
It’s safe,
it’s cheap, and it’s reasonably clean.
It’s a short distance to the bar and close to my family.
The only fault with it
is that I’m living
in it.
My TV is there,
my computer is there
and sometimes my brain is.
I don’t think I can be happy anywhere.
It’s the wanderlust
and the road beckons.
I have it too good, it’s pleasant and easy.
My mind is hijacked
by other things,
that’s the first problem.
Maybe that’s what I should fix first.
Get rid of it.
The distractions
But as any addict,
they stay,
because it’s scary without them.
I never used to be scared
of being alone with myself,
but then again,
I never worried about the future
either.
I took the train back
I always enjoy reading
on the quiet side of the train
you know,
the side that’s supposed to be quiet?
I took my shoes off and put my feet up
When it was my turn to get off
my shoes were gone
Someone took them
The same way I took the train
Hope my shoes made them happier
than the train ride did
I say
yes
to everything
Being in my
apartment
is not a great thing
Why stay?
It’s just gonna suck
me dry
A rest stop
between work and sleep
I’ll say
yes
to anyone
As long as they get me out
We have one solitary desire
to not
be alone
Some think that
being
alone is scary
but lonely people are rarely scared
they don’t miss anything
It was a bad day today
My phone forgot my face
which is telling.
I burned the sauce too and missed the train
It’s one of those days
My face ain’t right
There are too many wrinkles
doubt
annoyance
anger and bitterness
God damn the dog’s whining
I forgot to pay the rent.
I found the unopened letter under a stack of papers I was going to use to write today.
I should be fine, but damn, what a slip up.
They might use it as an excuse to kick me out, they aren’t very happy about me.
It’s still early so I’ll have to wait an hour before I can call them and apologize.
So that’s probably the most interesting thing that’s gonna happen to me today,
or in a while, rather.
I’m doing laundry of course.